I loathe being alive.
I hate living every fucking moment in pain that I can't escape from.
I hate trying to push along a dying body with organs slowly shutting down.
I hate being forced into a subsistence living on welfare. With shitty people commenting how people like us are a drain on society.
I hate living in a shitty house that's falling to pieces but I'm poor so I can't fix it.
I hate the Drs who knowingly killed my wife and didn't give a shit.
I hated the night I sat with my dog as he looked at me and silently pleaded for help. To fix him. And there was nothing I could do but watch him die.
And right now I hate my car even more. My last piece of freedom. My last occasional escape. I spent the last squeak of my savings on it. And now it's fucked. Its drained every thing I have and it's still demanding more money, a lot more money. I'll probably have to sell it and lose, really lose and buy a shit box that might get me into town. Either that or start taking busses for groceries and live out the last years of my shit life trapped in a decaying house in a decaying body.
If you want some good advice. Walk away from me. Better yet, fucking run. There's nothing good can come from me.
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