Hello darkness my old friend

I saw this today. I don't know. It's been a long hard time. I got sick, really, really sick, like, "will I survive?" sick. Tonight I just feel alone, I want to curl up with someone and just hold on for a bit. But there's no one. Today I am still here. And she isn't. I'm exhausted from fighting this illness and I just want to not be the fighter. Tired of life. Trapped in a body that gives me nothing but problems but it won't give up. 

Mothers Day Weekend

Well, here it is. Mothers day weekend. I used to love this weekend so much.

I wanted my wife to have the day all to herself with no obligations to other family so we moved her day to Saturday. On the day we always did a big road trip to somewhere special, the whole day was filled with fun things for her. She loved it.
Sunday was actual mothers day.

Now I have no wife, and my mother was killed too.

The day is blank.

And I can't say anything to anyone because I don't want them to feel guilt.

Hurts. I feel very down and very alone.