Ethics

Ethics are good, morals are good. 

Sometimes we are placed in a state of survival and you need to bend them a little. 

Sometimes you need to bend them a lot. 

It doesn't make you bad. 

It makes you a survivor. 

You gotta do what you gotta do. 

Help

 

“Why don’t you want my help? It’s like you push it away every time I try. “

I shrug, “It’s not easy for me”.

I tend to leave it there. Elaborating isn’t easy as there is no straightforward answer. Layers, a layered answer.

It’s in me to be the one who provides, the one who helps. If I can’t be that person, it feels like I have failed. All those who were certain that I would fail in life would be right. I know that really the only fight is with myself. But those ghosts of my past, well, will haunt me to the end of my days.

I have found many times that those who sought to help me did so with hooks. It was nothing to do with what they could do for me but everything to do with what they wanted from me. Those people have cost me in my past. People who genuinely want to help, it’s not you, it was them, those past ghosts.

Then, then there were the few times I asked for help, particularly from those who I had gone all out and helped before, but also from those who had promised they would be there if I ever needed it. Their silence and empty promises were showing.

So now, I don’t ask for help. I simply cannot, my past is something I cannot drop, and I don’t ever want to repeat those times. Sometimes, the only one you can trust is yourself.

 

All I ever wanted was to be quiet, to sit in the corner and not be noticed. Just live a quiet life.

But sometimes, sometimes a man can’t simply sit back and do nothing, say nothing. I’m sure I piss plenty of people off. There’s more than a few mad with me. I’m the villain in plenty of peoples stories. But when I have to, I stand for what I think is right. Remember, “if everyone loves you then you never stood for shit”. I would still rather sit quietly in the corner.

Here I am, I remain, The modern gentleman.

First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a socialist.

Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out—because I was not a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out—because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me—and there was no one left to speak for me.

—Martin Niemöller