Decaying

 

Where do I start? It’s always a difficult issue.

I am a Straight White Man in my 50s.

I’m not a perfect person, I have done sketchy things in my life.

But I am sick of this Men are abusive. White men are even more abusive. And its ALL men.

And if you ever try to argue then you get vilified. How dare you say its not ALL men.

I don’t tell people what I do, I’m not after glory, it’s just me doing the right things.

Have I raced across town in the early hours to pluck young girls who are standing on the side of the road, lost and not knowing what to do? More than once.

Have I talked people who were thinking maybe it was time to end their marriage into staying? Yup. Have I talked them into leaving when I could see it was poisoning them? Yup.

Have I opened up my home to women who were literally homeless with nowhere else? Plenty of times.

Talked women out of suicide a few times (that scares me most but I’ll still do it)

I now face my own issues. My body is failing. My organs are failing. It’s getting to my brain now. I’m losing function. I can hide it for now. But soon I won’t be able to.

And I’m so alone.

Men are tough, when we finally ask for help, it’s expected of us to be tough. So we are tough alone.

I don’t know what I’m trying to say. I don’t think I have a real point to this.

Rantings of a lonely old man I guess.