11:25pm.
Should be in bed. Words flying around my head, trying to grasp them.
1 month and
it will be 5 years since I watched her die. Yeah, I miss her. But, now I more
miss having someone there. Share those moments, but at the same time, I’m becoming
so used to being alone. Can I adapt to someone after so long? Does it matter?
No one close enough to here who has any interest beyond friends.
Blink,
blink goes the cursor.
Sometimes
we sit there willing ourselves to move. Just, it’s not there you know? Argh,
the frustration.
Heads
muddled. Brain fog.
Men on
singles pages with that any hole is a goal mentality, you stupid twats,
flooding women so they don’t know what to do. Slow it down, look for the few
that really interest you. Then meaningful dialogue can happen. Maybe I’m wrong
though. I’m the one who’s long term single.
Laugh, it’s
important. Helps the mind, I don’t laugh too much on Modern Gentleman, not the
right place, I’m full of inappropriate humor though.
Sometimes I
watch prank videos on youtube. Fact is though in real life I would hate it. She’s
supposed to trust you. Shouldn’t betray
it.
Words aren’t
flowing tonight. Time to head for the shower.
Good night
all. Or good day depending on where you are.