Triggers

 

It’s been a hard few days dear reader. My health has taken a bit of a nose dive and it’s proving difficult to get it sorted. Theres a number of stressors that aren’t helping either. Yesterday I had to head for the hospital for a blood test. There is only one in the area, the one where they killed my wife. Sometimes I’m fine going in there. Other times, not so fine. Its difficult because sometimes I have to walk past the people who killed my wife. They don’t even know who I am.

The wait was an hour in a packed room. I had to sit there sucking it up, the only unmasked person in amongst 20 masked, I could feel the glares, saw the stares.
I don’t know, it just got to me yesterday.

Then I had to act normal for the rest of the day when all I wanted to do was hide. Work had to be done, messages answered. But I’m a man, I have to suck it up. Pretend I was ok when I wasn’t. Almost posted twice on Modern Gentleman but deleted it soon afterward.

I’ll probably delete this soon too.