Brené Browns Listening to shame TED talk

This morning I was sent a link to a TED talk, I was listening to it, not that closely until it got to one piece, I stopped it, went back and listened to it intently, then one more time. I’m sitting here going yes, yes, this, but wondering how I explain it. The harshest criticism in my life has come from women, I am the protector, I know this and would always step up when the time comes. But men get tired too, and when we falter, it’s not so easy. I have been yelled at for being sick. I have been laughed at for being depressed. Men are expected to be unwavering and we are pushed into never faltering. Go, go, go. Be everything, never be weak. Push ourselves until there is nothing left, then get up and push some more. Until we can’t. And then we die, because we can’t take the shame of failing. 

Brené Browns Listening to shame TED talk:

For men, shame is not a bunch of competing, conflicting expectations. Shame is one, do not be perceived as what? Weak. I did not interview men for the first four years of my study. It wasn't until a man looked at me after a book signing, and said, "I love what say about shame, I'm curious why you didn't mention men." And I said, "I don't study men." And he said, "That's convenient."

And I said, "Why?" And he said, "Because you say to reach out, tell our story, be vulnerable. But you see those books you just signed for my wife and my three daughters?" I said, "Yeah." "They'd rather me die on top of my white horse than watch me fall down. When we reach out and be vulnerable, we get the shit beat out of us. And don't tell me it's from the guys and the coaches and the dads. Because the women in my life are harder on me than anyone else."