It's hard to change your own mindset.
Keeps sucking me back. Reverting. I just have to keep pushing myself into the new mindset.
Stupid thing is I don't want to change. I want to be free to have emotions. I want to love. I want to need to love.
That won't happen. That time is gone. Its lost. It's over.
Why wasn't I flooding her with Vitamin C? Right from the moment that wound opened up. Pushing, pushing her to take it.
When do I dare say I feel like I didn't try hard enough to keep her alive.
Wrong emotions. Push it down. Lock it away.
Man up. Move on.
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