The end

 

It’s a strange day today dear reader.

2hrs ago my company officially closed. Mixed bag that one. It will take a lot of pressure off me, give me the chance to rest and maybe recover. Not a cure, just enough to be able to survive. Money will be tight. I’m not sure how that’s going to look. But there’s a grief. I poured myself into it for 26 years. Gave it everything I had. Showed all the people who didn’t believe in me that I could do it, I could make it. Until I couldn’t. Until I had to walk away with nothing to show for it. It’s not my first life rebuild. But I’m getting old and it’s getting harder.

It doesn’t really feel different yet. I still have people contacting me, asking for help.

I have had zero earnings since the start of the month. Still got the outgoings though. And next week. Next week the paperwork starts. More stress, more deadlines. More everything.

But, I live in hope. In a month I can finally rest. Finally stop. Finally work on myself finally try to heal.

Blood pressure this morning was 191/104, deadly. Just a little longer body. Hold out a little longer. You can do it.