So today on my on this day on facebook I can see on the feed a post about how my wife was doing 12 months ago. I now know that what I thought was menopause was in fact the infection that would kill her less than 2 months later was taking hold.
If only I had known then.
I failed my wife, right when we were starting to win.
I want someone to hold me right now. Tell me life is going to get better. But theres no one here. I'm alone. Paying for my failure.
Days like this I don't want to be here anymore.
And now comes up how people who survived cancer feel guilt. Seriously???? Survivors guilt? There's a fuck of a lot worse than survivors guilt.
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