Pulled in 2 directions

 

Starting is the hardest part. Trying to get the words to flow. And they are there, wanting to come out.

And my brain is screaming over and around with so many things. All wanting to come out while being out of reach at the same time.

So tonight I’m opening this document and typing shit to see where it goes.

Ping, ping, people wanting to talk. We live in a world that’s so loud, it’s unrelenting.

But the world is so disconnected. We need to talk more, but I don’t want to talk. Around and around it goes, so connected and yet so lonely. The pull in 2 directions and I cant stand it.

I need quiet but I cant stand it. That fucking fan behind me. I need to stop for a second, find music to drown the damn thing out.

So now I add noise.

I guess that’s me all over. Pulled in all directions.

I wonder why I bother writing these things, do I want to be recognized? When all I want is to be left alone? That’s so lonely though.

Fuck. I don’t know. This is going nowhere. File it and start again.